Yadda ake ma saurayi shagwaba a musulunci
Mace itace take da ruwa kuma take da tsaki a wurin yin shagwaɓa ga saurayinta, shi kuwa namiji dama a wannan fannin ɗan abi yarima asha kiɗa ne. Saboda shagwaɓa dai mace take yiwa kyau, itama ɗin kuma idan ta iya.
Zan fara bayani a kan shagwaɓa ga ƴan mata da kuma wace irin shagwaɓa ya kamata kiyiwa saurayinki, sannan da wane lokaci za kiyi, kuna tare ko kuma a waya.
Ita dai shagwaɓa da kuke ji kuma kuke ganin ana yinta, abace mai matuƙar muhimmanci ga ƴanmata a wurin samarinsu, haka kuma tana da matuƙar muhimmanci da kuma amfani a wurin amarya ga angwonta ko matar aure, uwargida kenan a wurin maigida. To idan kuwa har shagwaɓa tana amfanar da amare da ragowar matan aure ina ga kuma ke ƴanmata a wurin saurayinki? Ki auna lissafin ki gani, idan kika fahimci kan zancena to kuwa tabbas zaki gane irin muhimmancin shagwaɓar da kuma yadda kike bukƙatar ta a soyayyarki matuƙar kina son saurayin naki.
A matsayin ki na budurwa yana da matuƙar amfani kisan lokacin da masoyin ki yake cikin farin ciki, Domin a wannan lokacin ne ya dace kiyi masa shagwaɓa. Saboda hakan zai kara shaƙuwa a tsakaninku mai yawa wacce bazata misaltu ba. To amma domin sanin yadda ake ma saurayi shagwaɓa da kuma sanya shi farin ciki, to kinzo wurin daya dace. Yanzu ki cigaba da karanta wannan rubutun nawa taƙaitacce domin ke aka yi shi.
Shagwaɓa da kike gani, zata sa wannan saurayin naki yayi miki abinda bai shirya ba, haka kuma takan sa budurwa ta shiga ta kwanta a cikin zuciyar saurayinta ko da baya kusa da ita, begenki ne zai riƙa ɗawainiya dashi ya kuma zama abincin zuciyarsa idan yana kewarki. Duk waɗannan lissafe lissafen na irin abubuwan da shagwaɓar ƴanmata zata iya kawo musu, so sadly to say, ƴanmatan mu na hausawa kaɗan ne suka san hakan.Irin ƴanmatan da nake nufi sun san komai game da waɗannan bayanan nawa; mata ne ƴan shila, yara ƴanmata ƴan bana bakwai, haka kuma yara ƴan zamani waɗanda idon su ya buɗe. Ire iren ƴanmatan nan ne suka san shagwaɓa, suka kuma iya sarrafata akan samarinsu.
Domin kuwa kamar yadda lissafin yake shine; sai kin san mecece shagwaɓar, kin kuma san lissafin yadda zaki sarrafata, ma'ana kin san lokacin yin shagwaɓarki, kin kuma san a ina ya kamata kiyi ta, tofa a sannan ne zaki sa rai da cin gajiyar wannan shagwaɓar taki. Ƴanmata wannan rubutun zaiyi miki bayani filla filla idan kika biyoni a sannu a hankali har inda zan dasa ayar ƙarshe.
Yadda ake ma saurayi shagwaba ga budurwa.
Idan kina da saurayi mai son shagwaɓa, na farko kisan yanda zaki riƙa yi sannan kisan cewa ita shagwaɓa ana yinta ne lokaci zuwa lokaci ga masoyi ba wai koda yaushe ki kasance ƴar shagwaɓa ba. Ki riƙa masa shagwaɓa time to time domin burgeshi har ya riƙa mararin shagwaɓar ki bawai idan kina shagwaba ba yaji abin so boring, don haka idan kina shagwaɓa koda yaushe he will find it boring.
Samari da yawa nason ƴanmatansu suyi musu shagwaɓa, ki riƙe wannan a ranki kuma ki riƙa saka shi a lissafinki, domin kuwa hakan ne zaisa ki ɗauki shagwaɓar da zaki riƙa masa da muhimmanci kuma hakan zaisa ki gane salo salo da dabarun yadda zaki ja hankalin sa da ita har ta zame masa abun burgewa.
Idan zaki yiwa saurayinki shagwaɓa to kar ki riƙa tsawaita ta. Ma'ana karki riƙa jan tsahon lokaci kina zuba masa shagwaɓa, hakan zaisa ya gaji da shagwaɓarki yaji ta gundure shi a maimakon burgeshi da jawo hankalinsa da kike sonyi.
Ki riƙa yinta a taƙaice saisa saisa, karki manta ba'a rana ɗaya zaki zazzage masa duk wata nau'in shagwaɓa da kike son yi masa ba, akwai yau akwai gobe, haka kuma jibi ma na nan zuwa inda rai da lafiya. Haka kuma masu iya magana suna cewa inda rai da rabo, saboda haka kibi a sannu.
Wanne lokaci zakiyi shagwaɓa ?
Sanin lokacin daya kamata kiyi shagwaɓa shine kankat fa, idan har kina son cin gajiyar shagwaɓar taki. Ki riƙe wannan da kyau, na faɗi hakan ne saboda idan kika samu kika fahimci lokacin da zakiyi shagwaɓa to kuwa duk lokacin da kika yiwa saurayinki shagwaɓar nan to zai baki hankalinsa ɗari bisa ɗari, haka kuma zaki burgeshi ki bashi sha'awa kamar yadda kike so.
Idan kika tsaya kika maida hankali sosai kika lura da lokutan daya dace kiyi masa shagwaɓa to kin samu lagonsa, saboda haka zaki riƙa tafiyar dashi yadda kike so, domin kuwa ya zama naki a hannu, hausawa suna cewa kwai a baka, yafi kaza a akurki.
Lokacin da kika san habibinki yayi fushi dake, shin kinsan cewa idan kika yiwa habibin naki shagwaɓa, yaji shagawaɓar nan, idan yayi wasa sai kiga ya mance ɓat da wannan laifin da kika yi masa?
Yadda ake jan hankalin saurayi da lokacin yin shagwaɓa;
-Lokacin da baki da lafiya
-Idan yana zolayarki
-Idan yana kallonki
-Idan kuna waya
Lokacin da baki da lafiya
A irin wannan lokacin idan saurayinki ya kira ki domin jin yadda kike ji a wannan lokacin na yanayin rashin lafiya, dole zai baki hankalinsa bugu da ƙari kuma akwai tausayawa, hakan zaisa yaji shagwaɓarki sosai kuma ya baki kulawa.
Idan yana zolayarki
A irin wannan lokacin watau idan kika ga saurayinki yana zolayarki toki jiɓanci yi masa shagwaɓa, misali irin idan yana cikin zolayarki ke kuma kina cewa cikin shagwaɓa;
"baby ka dena kaga banaso"
Irin kiyi kamar zaki kuka amma shima yasan kukan shagwaɓa ne, to kuwa irin haka zai riƙa burgeshi.
Idan yana kallonki
Haka kuma idan yana kallonki nan ma wata hanya ce da zaki iya bi, ki zuba masa shagwaɓa yadda ranki yake so. Misali idan kika ga ya ƙura miki na mujiya sai ki ɗan harare shi cikin wasa kina ɗan ɗauke fuskarki irin alamun kunyar nan sai kice;
"baby ni dai ka daina kallona bana so"
Duk kina faɗar hakan cikin muryar shagwaɓa.
Idan kuna waya
Bance koda yaushe kina yi masa a shagwaɓa a waya ba. A'a, amma dai a lokacin da kuke waya, muryarki yake ji saboda haka ki riƙa masa muryar shagwaɓa, basai nayi miki bayani ba anan saboda ku mata kunfi ni sanin yadda zaku sarrafa muryarku domin ruɗa kwanyar namiji.
Idan zaƙin muryarki ya daki dodon kunnensa yayin da kika fara muryar shagwaɓarki sai dai kiji yana baby meya faru ?
Sannan idan shagwaɓar ta kwaɗayice sai ki bashi amsa kamar misalin haka;
"Hmmm honey ! Nidai.. Ni dai.. kaza nakeso uhmm.. uhmm.. dear kaza, kuma ma saika siya min.
Ko ice cream dasu pizza da duk sauran kayan kwalam da maƙulashe.
Kinga irin wannan shagawaɓar idan kina yi masa, tuni zaki ga ba shiri yana miki abinda kike so.
Shagwaɓa yayin da saurayinki yake fushi dake, shin ko kinsan cewa ta hanyar shagwaɓa zaki iya maida laifin kanshi ?
"Uhm.. uhmm.. uhmm.. Habibi na Uhm.. am sorry plss.. Sai ki ɗan haɗa da kukan ƙarya kingane ai, sai kici gaba da cewa;
"Ni.. Ni ai ba ason raina nayi ba kayi haƙuri kaji dear na.
Kina yi kina maganar kamar za kiyi kuka, amma fa sai kin haɗa da kwantar da murya da maƙe murya irin wacce ku mata kuke yi. Kuma idan kina haɗa masa wannan shagawaɓar da ajin ki, wai! Zaki ga yadda zaki riƙa ruɗa masa tunani kuma a lokaci ɗaya kiga ya ɗauki laifin ya naɗa gammo ya aza a bisa kansa.
Idan kuma yaƙi haƙuri sai kice;
"Umm umm dear ba kaine sai faɗa kake min ba, kuma ma na baka haƙuri kaƙi haƙura sai faɗa kake min.
Habibi na baya sona yau. Kina yi kina haɗawa da ɗan kukan ƙarya.
"Kuma ma ai ba nice nayi laifin ba kaine ma kayi, kuma kake tayi min faɗa, ni sai faɗa kake min.
Kai ana shagali! kiyi haka ki gani, kadan ba sai ya sauke laifin nan daga kanki ya dawo dashi kansa ba in tafi a tsaye!
Yanzun nan za kiji gogan naki yana cewa "ok yi shiru baby na, ko kiji yana faɗin shikenan baby na ya wuce ai.
Amfanin shagwaɓa a soyayya:
Shagwaɓa a cikin soyayya tsakanin saurayi da budurwa abune mai matuƙar amfani sosai domin yana ƙara shaƙuwa da farin ciki tsakanin masoya baki ɗaya. Shagwaɓa a soyayya ana bayyana ta da yin abubuwa tsakanin masoya biyu dan kara shaƙuwar soyayyar su a koda yaushe. Hakan yana faruwa ne ta hanyar yin wasu abubuwa wanda zai sa saurayi ya fahimci cewa budurwa tana sonshi kuma tana buƙatar kulawa daga gareshi sosai.
Duk soyayyar da ake yin shagwaɓa tsakanin masoya biyu, misali ace masoya na jin kunyar junan su, to wannan shagwaɓar dake tsakaninsu zata basu damar iya gayawa juna sirrikansu a saukaƙe ba tare da jin kunya ba. Kuma mafi yawancin ƴan mata a yanzu suna yawaita yiwa samarin su shagwaɓa domin su gane irin san da suke masu ko kuma samun wani abu mai daraja, kuma suna samun nasara sanadin soyayyar samarin nasu, wanda hakan ne yasa mata da yawa suka farga suka kuma gano amfanin shagwaɓa akan samarin nasu.
Abin ban sha’awa akan shagwaɓa. Domin kuwa mata kala-kala ne kuma mata suna da salo salo da ban da ban na wurin bayyana shagwaɓa ga samarin su a kowane lokaci. Saboda yanzu idan mace nasan wani abu a wajen saurayin ta, kafin tasamu abunda take so a wasu lokutan dole sai ta haɗa da yiwa saurayin ta shagwaɓa kafin ya iya bata wannan abun, kuma zai bata ba tare da yasan yana bayarwa ba, ba sihiri bane hakan kawai tsabar salon iya shagwaɓa ne cikin ƙissa da kisisina, iyawa ce!
Yanzu wasu mazan suna ganin cewa idan budurwa bata yiwa saurayin ta shagwaɓa, to hakan yana nuna cewa bata son shi ko kaɗan. Idan akwai shagwaɓa, toh akwai yarda da juna cikin soyayya sannan kuma akwai nishaɗi da farin ciki. Mafi yawanci idan saurayi yana cikin damuwa ko ɓacin rai, shagwaɓa daga wajen budurwar da yake ƙaunar ta zai iya tasirin kauda shi daga halin da yake ciki na damuwa.
Soboda irin waɗannan dalilan, shagwaɓa a soyayya tana da amfani a rayuwar masoya fiye da yadda ake tunani, Amma fa sai wanda yake soyayya ne, ko waɗanda suke soyayya zasu fi fahimtar hakan.
Matan yanzu na wannan zamanin irin waɗanda na ambato na kuma faɗi alamomin su a sama, an sansu da son yiwa samari shagwaɓa, musamman in saurayin ya zamo mai san budurwar sosai. Akwai hanyoyi da dama wacce zaki iya yi masa hakan a sauƙaƙe tare da bashi nishaɗi.
Bature yana cewa; "Women are masters of emotional manipulation. Kuma wannan zancen nasa haka yake domin mace tana da salo salonta da dabaru ta yadda zata dagulawa namiji tunani da lissafinsa ta irin hanyoyin yi masa shagwaɓa.
End#of# yadda ake ma saurayi shagwaba post
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